


Letters from Seamus

by crazy_ideas056



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, No worries, there will be fluff eventually!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 17:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3577761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazy_ideas056/pseuds/crazy_ideas056
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Dean is on the run, hiding from the ministry, Seamus is back at Hogwarts missing him. To cope, Seamus begins writing letters to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Dean,

You wrote me a letter to tell me you were leaving. A bloody letter! I know, I know, you didn't have time, it was too dangerous to tell me in person, but I never got to properly say goodbye. I worry about you, Dean. It's not safe out there for Muggleborns like you. Well, it's not much better here. I get crap about my blood and I'm half. (Mum's a witch, Dad's a muggle, if you didn't know.)

I hope you're safe, I hope we make it through this, I hope I see you again soon.

Missing you already, Seamus

* * *

 Dear Dean,

It's been a month at Hogwarts and I can tell this is going to be a long year. You're not here and according to Neville (and everyone else) I'm downright miserable. It's not my fault, really, Dean. I swear. It's You-Know-Who's. He's the one that made you go away. And really, you're the one who puts up with the most of my shit.

The Carrows are not as understanding. Don't worry, I'm fine for now, Pomfrey still looks out for us and she says I'll be right as rain soon.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione haven't come back either, probably some secret Dumbledore business. I hope they accomplish whatever it is they're trying to, because the sooner this is all over, the sooner you can come back. The sooner things can get back to normal. It's rather lonely with just Neville and me in the dormitory, but at least we're getting to know each other better.

I wish you were here, though. I hope you're ok, hope you're better off than me. 

Worried about you, Seamus 

* * *

 Dear Dean,

I miss you. Plain and simple. It's odd, I never really noticed how much time we spent together until you left (and that time when you dated ~~that~~ Ginny). We sat next to each other in classes, ate lunch together, did everything together, really. I helped you with Magical History and you would help me with...well mostly everything else. But that's only because you worried about my blowing something up.

I don't want you to worry about me. I worry about you, though. I miss you too much. I think Neville notices. He talked to me earlier, said we all missed you. That's nice and all but I know that I miss you most. They don't understand.

Truth be told, I don't understand either Dean. I wish you were here, you would be able to explain. See, we worked well like that, explaining anything and everything to each other. I would explain the wizarding world to you, and you would tell me all about Muggles. I would always come to you for help, and secretly, I loved it when you would do that too.

I wish I could go to you now, and ask you all of these questions. You would be able to explain to me why I feel like a part of me left with you. Why I worry more about you than me. Why it hurts to not have you with me. Please come back Dean. 

Please come back soon, Seamus 

* * *

 Dear Dean,

I've had to move into the Room of Requirement. The others can come and go, but only me and a few others stay here all the time. I'm scared. I've heard that things are getting bad out there, Dean. Please tell me that's not true.

I wish I knew where you were. If I did, I would come and find you, and then I would know that you were safe. That's the worst part, really, the not knowing. Not knowing if you're hiding, all alone and scared, or if you're dead somewhere without me knowing. Or maybe even if you're safe and coming back to me. 

Do you think I think about you too much, Dean? I'm not sure. You're always on my mind, even when I'm talking with other people in DA. 

It's hard to worry about me when I'm too busy thinking about you. 

Please be safe, Seamus 

* * *

 Dear Dean,

I think, just maybe, I may be beginning to lose my mind. I keep thinking I see you, or hear you, or even feel or smell you. Is that odd, Dean? I don't think you would think it is. You've never found me odd. 

This morning I thought I saw you at least three different times, but my mind was just tricking me. I've thought I've heard your voice. I was tying my bandages and I specifically heard you scold me for being reckless. (I wasn't being reckless, Dean. I swear).

I've even felt you. Last night, I thought you were pressed up next to me and I could even smell the scent that's so perfectly you. Do you remember the first time we shared a bed? It was in first year, I think we were both homesick, and more than a little overwhelmed. And then that time we shared in third year and we were both worried about Sirius Black. Those were nice. So were the times in fourth and fifth year. We didn't share much in sixth year, bed or otherwise.  I missed you then, too.

But I liked the times we shared. They were nice. You were nice. You smelled nice. You looked nice. Am I going crazy, Dean? I hope not. I might start forgetting things, and I want to remember you. 

Staying Sane, Seamus 

* * *

 Dear Dean,

I dreamt about you last night. That's not odd, I dream about you a lot. Mostly your death or torture, in fact I've taken to casting silencing charms so no one else hears me screaming. I hate those dreams, I feel so helpless. Every time, I wish it was me they were torturing, not you. I really hate those dreams, Dean.

This dream was different, though. It wasn't bad, I don't think. We were back in the dorms and you were there (in fact, you hadn't left at all). I don't know why, but you kissed me. Why would you want to kiss me, Dean? I'm just Seamus. Short little Irishman who has a problem with blowing things up. I wanted to kiss you, though. That's what makes me sad, Dean. This dream was wonderful and then I had to wake up. I hated that it hadn't happened.

Is that weird Dean? Is it weird that I wanted to kiss you? I hope not because there's more. There was a lot more. And...I liked it. I think I may have said your name at some point, because Neville talked a lot about you today. He acts like he knows something that I don't.

What is this, Dean? I liked it but I don't know if I should have. 

Ever Confused, Seamus

* * *

 Dear Dean,

I've had more dreams like the last one, thoughts like that too, but other ones as well. Dean I want you back. I want you here and I want you to be happy. In fact, that's what I really want, is for you to be happy. I want to be able to be with you every day. I want us to grow up together. I don't think can stand not being with you much longer. I have thoughts about you all the time. Well, "us" is more accurate. I think about us growing up, owning a small place together, growing old together, and just simply _us together._

I think I've figure out what this all is, Dean, and please don't hate me.

I think I love you. 

There, I said it. I love you. I love everything about you. I love your hands, how talented you are with them, you can draw the most amazing things, and they're always so gentle. I love your personality, you're always so kind and sweet and helpful and funny and you've never been mean or rude to me. Not even when we got into The Big Fight Which Shall Not be Mentioned Ever Again because of its Extreme Unpleasantness. I think you missed me just as much as I did after that. I love your eyes, they're beautiful. You're beautiful.

I think that you're the most beautify person I've ever met, inside and out. I love you, Dean. I really do. 

Love, Seamus. 

P.S. I don't know what I'd do if you ever found out.

* * *

 Dear Dean,

Neville asked me today if I loved you. Apparently he knew all along. Was I really that obvious, Dean? I don't think so, I didn't realize until just lately. Although I suppose some part of me has known for a while.

I told him. I told him yes, because what's the point, Dean? It's not as if it matters. You'd never find out. You're probably dead, captured by some Snatchers or Death Eaters or Dementors and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. 

Neville says I should keep up hope, he's a good friend, I'm glad for him, Dean. I like to think that you would be glad someone's watching out for me. That was always your job.

I want you back, Seamus

* * *

Dear Dean,

I've tried to hate you for leaving me so alone, but I can't. I've never been able to be angry at you for too long. I've tried to be angry at you about something, anything. But it's not working. I think anger would be better than whatever it is I'm feeling. It's like a deep ache, an ache for you, Dean. And something akin to grief.

Missing you more than I can explain, Seamus

 

* * *

 

Dear Dean,

You're never coming back to me, are you?


	2. Chapter 2

When Dean had walked in through the portrait hole, Seamus thought his heart would stop.

 _Dean_.

Dean was here. It was going to be okay. Everything was okay.

* * *

 It was nearly a week after the battle had been won, and Seamus still couldn't sort out his emotions. He had been overjoyed, of course, the moment Dean had stepped out of the portrait hole, and every shred of doubt and fear suddenly had disappeared from his mind. He still was ecstatic about having him back, safe and uninjured. But at the same time, they had lost so many people during the battle, people Seamus had called good friends.

Today had been a long and painful day, both physically and emotionally, they had worked on clearing ruble and subsequently found more bodies. All he wanted to do now was curl up on his bed and go to sleep. He was still staying in the Room of Requirement, which seemed to keep growing larger and larger, as many others had joined him.

Including Dean.

The first couple of days it had been easy to pretend that everything was fine between them, but it was evident that both of them had changed throughout their year apart. Dean had experienced many horrible things on the run, and Seamus had been through a lot at Hogwarts. They just weren't ready to share all of those things with each other yet. And it was putting a strain on their relationship. They used to always share everything, but now, everything was different.

Seamus quietly told Neville that he would be going back to the Room, and his friend had told him to go, seeing just how tired Seamus was.

When he arrived, he expected to see other people there. What he did not expect was to see the room empty except for his best friend.

Who was sitting on his bed.

And reading something that looked strangely similar to a letter he had written.

Shit.

Dean looked up when he heard Seamus was enter the room. Slowly, he put the letters down and stood up. "I didn't mean to snoop." He explained softly "I saw my name..." He was moving towards Seamus.

"I'm sorry I had to go, I would have stayed if I could. But I couldn't risk it, I couldn't risk my life, or my family's lives, or even your life if you tried to help me. But I came back." Dean said, nearly in a whisper "I promised you I would, didn't I? And no, Seamus, I don't think you're weird or strange or odd. Of course I remember the times we shared a bed, and didn't you ever think I would be having similar dreams?"

Seamus stared at him, trying to process all that Dean had said. Then he laughed, taking only a few steps to close the distance between them, and pressed his mouth to Dean's in a soft kiss.

Dean had come back to him and Seamus wasn't ever going to let him go.

* * *

 Dear Seamus,

I love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading :)


End file.
